Contained in those four walls for the past 10 days was getting to me. I was on the edge always. Nerves were throbbing. Clarity disappearing. Yesterday the air finally hit me and the light made me alive again. I rowed across the water and stood at the ends of the sun’s rippling reflection and found the content that I was looking for. My own laughter echoed all around even though all those motions made my hands hurt. The drenched sleeves of my sweatshirt gave me goosebumps as the winter evening dawned but the day’s shine that had made my cheeks blush so much remained with me. Everyone was good at the moment even though my strength betrayed me. Even the fact that I was a bitch to some people did not matter and then the decision was made. I won’t raise my voice anymore. I won’t waste my heart over anyone or anything. I will give in my all to my work but stand in for my family. I will remember to breathe and listen to heart beat. I shall quietly be with myself. And then I will be truly me and not a mad bitch to myself and as for the rest of the people …you would need to get on with your own lives.